i continued with my chakra meditation today. i used the same imagery as before, imagining my sacral chakra as a spinning pinwheel that i could spin with my breathing. i added the thought that in spinning it i was also cleaning all the dust or old evergy from it, an image of a spinning wheel of fire came to me then, burning away the bad or old built up blockages that have built up over the years.
i have many blockages in this area, probably more that in my root.
relating with th asexual has alway been a little bit of a minefield for me, open discussion of this subject was discorage heavily.
both of my parents had their own reasons for blocking this path to knowledge in their own lives but as a consequence it is difficult to find my own way.
Your parents are your first teachers, and when they hide knowledge or discourage learning about a part of your own body, you learn to distrust any future teachers.
learning to trust your intuition or even your own thoughts and ideas is…difficult if not impossible.
clearing this blockage away will take time but in the end i will have reclaimed a part of myself that was lost and that is worth so much.