Prompt: The longest day…

The longest day sounds almost like a movie title or a book I cannot put down.
Its a metaphor or it can be an actual occurrence.
The longest day in my life is a hard concept to grasp.
I’ve had days when it seemed like they wouldn’t end, but they did end.
I could say that thee longest da was the day my mother passed but that would be a lie, it seemed to pass so rapidly I could hardly keep up.
I remember clearly, when I got the news, I was on my way to the airport to fly down to see her, but I couldn’t get ahold of my day to finalize the plan.
I knew something was wrong but when I got the call, the only words that registered in my mind, my dad was apologizing over and over.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”
Like it was his fault, like him telling me was making it happen.
Its a blur after that, his words playing in the back of my mind.
The day ended with me sobbing myself to sleep on a sodden pillow and waking from a dream, or a nightmare, I can’t decide which even now.
It was so disturbing.
We, my mother and I, were at a restaurant together and at first I was winning the argument we were having.
Suddenly, she asks me a question.
I don’t have an answer.
She asked again.
I wake up crying, with no answer to a question I can’t remember.
I had that dream three times that week.
I woke up in tears each time, more upset than the last.
Sobbing hysterically over a question I couldn’t even remember.
That day was both the longest and the shortest.
so many things happened in such a short time, they blended together in a haze of misery,painful to the touch and leaving raw open wounds.
The anniversary is coming up, less than a week away.
I’m still not sure how I’m going to handle the next few weeks, its stil so very raw.Its only been a year since my mother’s body finally out.
It was a long struggle to get to that point, a kind of roller roller coaster that we all wanted off of but still dreaded leaving behind.
So in the end, it really was and is the longest day.
In some ways I’m still living in that day, its still hasn’t completely sunk in that my mother is gone.
For the first few months I kept waking up and hoping it was all a bad dream and she would still be there.
It still hits me sometimes, the finality of that loss, its not like anything else.
Its intense and I am still living through it day by day.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s