Twilight is an interesting word. It’s both a time, a place at the same time. Twilight is a very fluid place and time, I like how the game twilight princess for its whole concept. It describes twilight as a whole other kingdom, beautiful but a dark mirror of the main world of Hyrule that only connects during the beginning and ending of the suns day. I think twilight in the real world can be defined in a similar way. It’s a between time, a time where beings and events that otherwise wouldn’t exist at any other time or place, flourish in abundance. I have had times in my life that have intersected with this other world in all three-forms. Faerie I think is twilight in purest form, a place that exists in-between , here and now, and now as with then.
The first memory of my childhood that would fit is very early on, a time that I remember in a fog like clarity. I was in preschool, at a place with lots of grassy fields , that I never remember playing in but knew they were there. I had a friend there, my only one, I know she was dark skinned and different. Thats what drew me to her, but we got on like a house on fire for the short time that we knew each other. I remember her fondly even now.
After a time, I came back to the school only to find that my friend was gone. I asked after her but the adults would look at me and give me now answer. They seemed confused. It was like she was never there. I still remember her to this day but I will never know for sure what happened or why my questions were met with such strange reactions.
It feels very nebulous , our relationship, like a dream with no clear beginning or ending.
I have had several people walk in and out of my life this way but none of them so completely.
Another memory I have that had that same strange quality, just in a different way, came just a few years ago when I was just beginning my pagan path.
I had just returned from y first ritual and nearly burning my ‘altar’ down due to carelessness when tired and a little tipsy.
I was king out into the backyard to put my leftover offering down by the apple tree when something weird happened .
We had a stone path leading to the back, passing a bush of white roses and under an arch of white flowers.
I always viewed this arch as a safe ‘gate’ to the backyard, a place I could safely pass without disturbing the spirits of the land or the faeries that lived there. This night I followed my tired feet off the usual path and won’t call it a mistake because looking back I did enjoy the strange experience I had next.
I stepped off the path and suddenly I was in between, I was in the back yard but not.
I had one foot in this world and another was not.
I recognized the plea but it was like looking in a focusing glass.
It was clear in a way that our world is not, strange but at the same time close and familiar.
The roses and flowers were blooming, blazing white against that pitch black night.
I felt a little lost and it scared me a little, how I could be in-between two places at once.
I had to consciously shake myself, putting my feet back on the path and head back home.
I looked back once, and saw something that made me shiver and hurry back inside just a little quicker : It was winter and the flowers were not blooming, just the greenery was visible.