Restored my faith in humanity….not.

I am so not wanting to write or do anything today, this is such a struggle to get out right now.
I haven’t done anything too productive since I did the dishes a few hours ago and I fell asleep during meditation not once but twice.
I sleep when I want to avoid things or I go on facebook or read my email.
That is what I have been doing all today, that and painting.
I think it came out okay but its a toss up.

I am so tired of days like this.
When I don’t even want to leave my room all day and sleep or just be numb for awhile.
I know it sounds like depression and I am not in denial about it but…theres really nothing to do at the moment.
The school offer counselling for free but they don’t offer the service in the summer.
They recommended someone who has a sliding scale, but at this point I won’t be able to pay at all.
Financially I have nothing to be too excited about and job wise I have applied everywhere I can think of and I have got no call backs.
I am stuck here in retail and that  just sucks
Getting treated like shit on a daily basis is such a moral booster.
Especially when nothing else I have going right now is something to write home about.
I am super depressed right now and that is reflected in my writing.
I was reading about a doctor that fooled 500 patients into thinking they had cancer and then treating absolutely normal people with unnecessary chemotherapy treatments all for the sake of money and kickbacks.
It really didn’t improve my mood or faith in human nature.
The doctor is now going to serve 45 years, the rest of his life, in prison and his victims are taking him to civil court for restitution.
It does put your life in perspective though.
I am perfectly healthy and I don’t have a doctor giving me chemo that can kill me for no reason so, my day is pretty good.
I see what Chemotherapy does to the people who actually need it and it sickens me what this doctor did, all for the love of money.`
I need to find a happy piece of news to balance this out, hold on.
A teenage girl survived a plane crash, she walked for two days and was picked up by motorists but is in decent condition after her ordeal.
That is a piece of good news, right?
She survived where many would have died and in relatively good condition.
The plane went down in the Idaho-Washington border, in severely mountainous terrain so, that is lucky or just downright miraculous.
That is the good news for today, hope tomorrow is better!


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