Today a man came in to buy collars for his 10 cats, and when I asked what kind of cats he had, he replied very seriously ‘They’re all supermodels.’
I just cannot stop thinking about this man. Like, he was a reasonably attractive middle-aged guy in a clearly nice but dishevelled suit? And he just seemed to think that this was an entirely normal request? And he clearly cared about his cats after our (very) long conversation, he kept talking about how the council was doing nothing to stop some people in the neighbourhood trapping cats for dog bait and he was really mad about this and he needed to protect his cats, but again, I stress, this guy genuinely did not seem to think that anyone would find the number of TEN CATS a large number of cats. He was just like, super casual at the end, ‘oh yes, also, I will need ten, one for each of my ten cats’. And I was like, ‘that’s a lot of cats!’ and he just did not seem to think it was a lot of cats? Also he had like hundreds of dollars in cash, and was clearly happy to just drop a bunch of money on stuff for his ten cats. I want him to come back. I’m burning with curiousity. I may be in love.
I don’t even need to imagine my OTP, they’re right there.
Fuck, I want to know what happens next
Yeeeeeeeah, I can totally picture Gold owning 10 cats….
Reminds me of @endangeredslug ‘s Cups of soup Gold and Binky…….
Binky’s wedding collar has Swarovski crystals on it.
No but Gold not even intending to own ten cats. Just being the only guy in town who leaves cat food out for the strays because they’re loud yowling at night and they’re cold and hungry and he remembers being cold and hungry and also he hates people so much at least cats aren’t CHARMINGS. Feeding them shuts them up at night so whatever no big deal.
And the cats just start coming by more and more. They get inside. They sleep on his furniture. He hates having them around because he’s not a cat person ok? And they’re messing up his stuff. But he comes home and he isn’t alone and they semi need him so whatever yeah ok he keeps feeding them. Maybe he’s even named one or two of the regulars. Maybe an old cushion or five with a towel over it finds its way into the warm laundry room on cold nights. Maybe.
Then one day Regina, maybe maliciously as she sees cat hair on his suit, decides to put pressure on the animal shelter to trap stray cats (any cat without a collar).
So Gold has to protect his tiny furry children. He buys ten cat collars from the pretty girl at the pet store. Belle is so curious about what the hell hes doing she finds an excuse to come by his house and finds a house full of stray cats.
And he just deadpans ‘I’m not a cat person.’
This so needs to become a fic.